Tuesday, December 28, 2010

How Did I Let This Happen?

How did I let it happen? Well it wasn't a conscience decision, I can tell you that much. Much like excess weight, it slowly crept up on me. I wasn't alone in my culpability. I had plenty of company.. I had depression, anxiety issues, a new found friend of procrastination and plenty of arthritis to throw in the mix. Misery loves company, right? I had plenty of comapny, PLENTY.

First it was the excuses.. I'm too busy to straighten up right now... That pile belongs to my husband.... As soon as I'm done watching this show.... I'll make too much noise and wake up the baby... My knee hurts too much.... I could go on, really, I could. Truth be told, I flat out didn't want to. Not sure if it was the depression or laziness, most likely it was a lot of both. But there was always a reason... and I always had an excuse to give  Heck, you want my excuse right now?  It's because I'm busy blogging and the girls are watching a movie.  Besides, I'd eventually get to it, someday.  Someday never comes.

Someday is finally here and it has a date... 1/1/11. That's my D-Day. My home has been a reflection of my inner self for a long time. But I no longer want to feel the way it looks. It's time to break my way free.

You might be wondering what I do when people come over... well, they don't. I don't have people over. I always have a last minute excuse as to why I have to cancel or change the venue. If I don't, there's a darn good reason why the bedroom doors are closed... the messes were moved. My biggest fear?.. .an unexpected guest. AAAAHHH!

No one should live like this. No One. Yet, I'm forcing my family to live this way. I'm all about teaching my children to be responsible and accountable. It's about damn time I am accountable for my home.It's time to conquer this house and be queen of my home instead of inmate #4.

Next on my agenda... figure out what I need to get started.... and own up to my mess and post some pictures.  Ugh.

Until next time,
Messy Mom

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